Mum with depression life on the run behind doors

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The worst filthy, abandoned spot in my home

If you want to skip reading and go straight to see the motivational video of today, you can do so. 
just click on the video on the right to watch.

You will find all the images of today on the video. I can only put so much images here.

Today is the first day of this journey. This is also the first post for this series. Making a diary of what my life is like at home is a great way for me to reach out to other mums like myself. Often, we do and cry alone, but it doesn’t have to be punishing. Knowing there are other mums like you out there is good, to share the pain and offer comfort and support to each other.

So today I woke up a little tired. Just not in a mood to do anything. So I postponed my usual morning cleaning to the afternoon. But that was no okay, no hiccups there.

At about 1 o’clock pm, I finally got up and start the day. Yes, I started doing housework at 1 pm. I’ve learnt, it’s important to listen to my head and my body, for my goodness. I started with moving the couches outside. It’s time for a new lounge. The current one has served the kids some good eight years. Food spills, sweat, spill drinks, smell socks etc,.

If you do the couch moving thing to clean under and behind the seats, you will know how much of a pain this job is.So started moving the couches outside, taking them down a set of stairs all by myself. Behind, under and inside the couches were everything we lost for years and were now antiques. What about the beautiful mess?

old-couch-goes-to-the-rubbish
old-couch-goes-to-the-rubbish
when-you-move-the-lounge-for-cleaning
when-you-move-the-lounge-for-cleaning

So after I was done with the lounge, I moved on to the kitchen and the fridge.

Messy kitchen was next.
After the kitchen came the fridge.

While cleaning the kitchen and the fridge, I was cooking dinner at the same time. While everyone was having dinner, I started on the bathroom and toilet downstairs. In the meantime, I’m running up and down the stairs to the laundry. I wanted to finish all the laundry of the day and have nothing extended to the next day.

By the time my husband and the kids finished their dinner, the kitchen was clean, and I have finished with the fridge cleaning. Next up was the kitchen after dinner cleaning, pulled the vacuum. By this time, I was beyond repair. I was exhausted and out of breath. After I finished with the vacuum. I took the pile of rubbish bags from behind the house down a set of stairs to the wheelie bin.

Next up was to bring the laundry inside from the washing line. Then fold them. It was nearly 10 pm when I went out to get the laundry inside.
I totally forgot my bed is naked. When I remembered I did not make my bed, I almost lost my sanity. I got the laundry inside folded them by then. It was past 10:30 pm.

late in the night laundry folding

It’s now past 11pm when I finished up with laundry folding. I took the laundry, give everyone their laundry, took my laundry and hit the shower. After I had my shower, I made my bed.

That night I couldn’t sleep until it was 3 am. Whenever I am exhausted, I don’t sleep well; I struggle to fall asleep. I stayed up reading. Then at about 2 am I went downstairs, made a hot drink. About 3 am, I put the book away and finally went to sleep.

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