A glorious day for a dead soul

When I opened my eyes this morning, my heart bounced with excitement, looking out the window at a glorious day.

My mind goes to work immediately to organize the day. When I say my mind goes to work to organize my day, it means within the home.

There has been nothing exciting for me to do in my life. I am stuck in the house 24/7. This is not a make-up thing; it is the truth buried underneath my soul. But I don’t think about it; at least it started nagging, causing me unrest.

After the kids left for school, I hit the computer to do a few hours of work. After two hours, I took a break. Usually, when I take a break from work, I do housework. I do chores in between work hours.

As I walked away from the computer, my heart started sinking, and suddenly I was wishing to go for a walk or something just to make the most of the lovely day. Realizing I couldn’t go anywhere, I felt sad and depressed.

I started going through the things I needed done for the day in my head. Half way and I was done, my body felt weak and exhausted 😩. I felt my soul dying. The beauty of the day is looking like a framed oil painting hanging neatly on the living room wall.

My soul is finally dead for the day.

God, help me get back on my feet before the kids come home from school.

I’m fighting this miserable feeling so I can start the housework and cook a kid’s meal before the end of the school day.

I don’t want to talk or even think; I have no energy for anything, no matter how simple it may be.

Perhaps if I were a television “real housewife,” I would be in a nice café with some friends just like me. Hiding the misery behind a coffee in a cafe., then posting it on social media as if we are truly happy and free of trouble, drinking coffee for $12 a cup (which is enough to buy lunch for some children for the whole week), and shopping for things we don’t need. Things that would probably end up in charity shops in the next few weeks as we run out of space to dump our leisure shopping.

All the while, someone else is looking after the kids and the housework.

I now nurture my soul and hope it will bounce back from death once again, as it always has for the last 20 years.

Perhaps today is just not my day. 😒 Or perhaps if I just jump up and down on my bed, everything will be alright.

What about you? What is your day like?