The rule I live by is very simple: “Do not” do anything unless you really want to do it and you are ready for it. Simple! It may sound ridiculous; maybe it sounds unrealistic too. But through my depression until today, this is where I found the power to have control over everything I did. This rule has saved me from breakdowns and many emotional and psychological disasters.

The only time when you really want to do something is when you are ready wholeheartedly to do it. You have the energy for it, and you are happy to do it. I used to feel so pressured to do things because they were important to do, e.g., the laundry, cooking, cleaning the fridge, cleaning the bathroom, washing the dishes. It’s usually these things because they involve the daily need for clothes, food, and a clean bathroom (for good hygiene).

When I have to get up to do things while I have no mood for them, while I am tired, feel down, unmotivated, etc., I go into a meltdown. I become depressed and just want the earth to swallow me up. I’m sure you know what a breakdown is like; that’s it, that’s the one! That was so exhausting.

It reached a point where I was afraid of having things that needed to be done while I was not ready to do them. It became a constant fear that consumed me. But why? You may ask.

I have always been on top of things, and as a perfectionist, I can not breathe the sight of something out of place or daily needs not done or ready on time beforehand. So depression put me in an extremely difficult situation. It was painful! For me.

The beginning of my depression before my diagnosis was the most painful time of this journey. I was unhappy with my ability to do things. I was so worried about the kids’ clothes for school, their undergarments, and their socks. The towels and linens of the week. It wasn’t so much about the chores themselves as about my ability to do them.

I got so tired and exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally that I just felt really sick. My depression got worse, and I ended up in bed day in and day out with the curtains shut all day, every day. Non-stop crying and despair.

During this period, I just learned to accept what’s going on and to ignore all that was happening around me. It was a tough period of my life. Every day, I try. I first started with a mental exercise to accept the mess and things undone and think of them as just things that will eventually be done. I tried to see things from a positive perspective.

I think of people who live in mess and clutter, but never feel it affects them. I told myself, They must be the happiest people in the world. Can you imagine not having a care in the world if the laundry is reaching the roof or the cups and plates have invaded the kitchen bench, etc.? I asked myself, Why can’t you just accept this is the situation now and be positive and optimistic that one day, hopefully soon, you will recover and this will all be history?

I tried hard to do just that, but it was a genuine struggle. However, with determination and dedication to change my perspective of things around me, especially considering my condition, things eventually changed. Not completely at once, but it did slowly.

It was the beginning of a fresh path to discovery and a fulfilling life, with depression as a shadow still following me around.

Never underestimate the importance of your health. Your wellbeing comes first. And don’t say; I make it sound too easy; I just told you what it was like and, I told you right here, that it was a struggle that needed work and dedication.

The thing is, if you do not fix the root of the problem, you will spend the rest of your life in pain and misery.

Forget depression; it’s no longer an issue at this point. You have got diagnosed and put on medication. Now, you need to focus on finding new ways to cope with and minimize the effects of depression.

I understand it’s difficult, and we feel we can’t go on. But is that what you want? That is a question for you to ask yourself. Remember, no one can answer that question for you, and no one can fix the root of the problems affecting you.

Do you want to get better or not.? If so, do the work and see yourself through. Get the image of a happy, full-of-life you—the image you want to see yourself in. Forget depression; it’s not important now.